Archive for the ‘ twitter ’ Category
#smurferizedmoviequotes
“I’ve got a Smurf with a Smurf that’s so good, if you threw it up in the air it would turn into sunshine.”
“He said he could smell my Smurf.”
“What can’t you say in front of your mother? You wanna Smurf your brains out, don’t you?”
“Is he someone you would want to, uh, Smurf?”
“I used to Smurf guys like you in prison!”
“You better get ready to be one rich Smurf! Because I’m gonna knock somebody the Smurf out!”
“They Smurf you at the drive through!”
“Yippeekiyay, mothersmurfer!”
“There are mothersmurfing snakes on this mothersmurfing plane!”
“Shame on you old ladies! Using the lord to sell your Smurf!”
“You see what happens when you Smurf a stranger in the Smurf?”
“Stu! Stu! Your rent’s due, mothersmurfer! Are you conscious? Smuuuuurf!”
“I told you kids bring me bad luck! I can’t stand them! Now get the Smurf out of here before I kick your Smurf!”
#vintagetvfacts
Little known fact: Sarah Jessica Parker’s father is Hollywood legend Mr. Ed.
Ricky Ricardo’s original job of drug kingpin was changed to bandleader after objections from the network.
“Bea Arthur” is actually Jack Klugman in drag.
Jack Albertson did not realize his performance in “Chico and the Man” was being recorded.
Charlotte Rae left “The Facts of Life” when producers rejected her idea to have Mrs. Garrett hold a key party.
To this day, Maya Angelou is still upset about losing the role of “Aunt Esther” in “Sanford & Son” to LaWanda Page.
Hugh Beaumont misunderstood his agent when asked if he wanted to be in “Leave it to Beaver” with Barbara Billingsley.
False rumors of Robert Reed’s sexuality were spread to prevent fans from finding out about his affair with Ann B. Davis
Robert Reed and Ann B. Davis’ love child was introduced onto The Brady Bunch as “Cousin Oliver”.
William Shatner was reunited with a Star Trek castmate years later when he chose one of the tribbles to be his new toupee.
Due to special effects constraints, every murder victim from the first season of “Perry Mason” had to actually be killed.
The first season of “Sex and the City” was actually thrown together with unused scripts from the TV classic “Mr. Ed”.
The “Love Boat” spinoff “Divorce Barge” was unsuccessful and mostly forgotten
FCC regulations required that Charo be given a guest starring role in every TV show produced in the 1970’s.
In the original “Petticoat Junction” pilot, the Shady Rest hotel was a bordello and Kate’s “daughters” were her “girls”
Sarah Jessica Parker’s first television role was on “Little House on the Prairie”, playing a horse.
#straight2DVD
“Driving Miss Daisy: With a Vengeance”
“Bucket List 2: Electric Boogaloo”
“Honey, I Forgot The Grandkids”
“Sandlot 3: Steroid Testing”
“National Lampoon’s Staycation”
“Retirement Home Musical”
“Cocoon 3: Anything Goes”
#hollywoodpostitnote
Ashley Judd + Madea for “Ashley Judd Thriller” reboot?
Cute CGI Dingos + Plush Dingos in every Wal-Mart = Big Bucks. What could go wrong?
Tyler Perry’s Madea Breckinridge = $$$$!!!
Citizen Kane reboot needs more action sequences, CGI sleds….
Jar Jar and Howard the Duck’s Road Trip? Instant Green Light!
Anne Frank reboot too depressing. Could we give her CGI mice friends?
Tell Scorsese his Mother Teresa biopic MUST star Miley Cyrus and WILL have “All Star” by Smashmouth on the soundtrack!
Ask Miley Cyrus’ management if she’d be interested in starring in Janis Joplin biopic
Buy rights to remake well known movie, throw out original story and just use the old title. Profit!!
Mashup two franchises- “Golden Girls Gone Wild”
#rejectedlifetimeslogans
“Television For Dames & Broads”
“Does Your Wife Have PMS? Turn On Lifetime and slowly move towards the door.”
“Now 75% Male-free!”
“Now featuring 25% MORE Meredith Baxter”
“Women Be Watchin’!”
“Lifetime: A Friendly Place When You’re On The Rag”
“Hey, toots! This channel is for chicks!”
“Watch Us While You Bathe Your Many Cats!”
#ineffectivemobster
“Michael says that if you can’t take care of this- I have to send her a strongly worded letter asking her to stop.”
“Am I a clown to you? Do I amuse you? I do? Great! I’m always glad to make someone laugh!”
“He pulls out a knife, you pull out a restraining order. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send him the bill!”
“Today we settle the family business. Now how much do we still owe on the Hello Kitty Visa Card?”
“What is that which gives me joy? Baseball! Now let’s get out there and win the annual Cops vs. Robbers softball game.”
“I want his flower beds trampled! I want his birdhouse burned to the ground! I want his family inconvenienced!”
“Look at how they massacred the pronunciation of my son’s name!”
“The Rat is dead! Take the body out back and bury it! But bring back the rat trap. I can clean it off and use it again!”
“Yeah, I pantsed that fat barkeep!”
“Forget it, Jake! It’s Toontown!”
#firstdraftfilmtitles
Horse Faced Lady and Her Three Slutty Friends.
Dolly Parton Runs A Whorehouse, But You Still Won’t See Her Naked Rack.
We Might As Well Just Flush The Studio’s Money Down the Toilet, Starring Dane Cook.
Two Dudes Bang Each Other On A Mountain.
Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz and Mike Myers Collect Another Paycheck.
Tyler Perry, Tyler Perry & Tyler Perry Star in Who Cares, This Movie Is Going To Make Money No Matter What.
Whiny Emo Who Grew Up Rich Makes An Indie Film About How Troubled His Childhood Was.
Foul Mouthed Old Ladies Are Hilarious!
Has-Beens on a Plane.
Let’s Just Blow Stuff Up, Directed By Michael Bay.
Stuck-Up College Frat Guys Get Their Comeuppance.
Whiny Emo Makes An Indie Film in Which He Gets a Date With His Dream Girl Even Though She Laughed At Him In Real Life.
Ralphland has a twitter account!
Check it out at:
http://www.twitter.com/ralphthejokeguy
We’ll profile fun highlights from the past, under the twitter category.
