Ralphland

“I eated the purple berries!”

-Ralph Wiggum

“I heard they shaved a gorilla.”

-Random Springfieldian watching Homer eat at a seafood buffet.

“That’s coming out of your stealings!”

-Moe the Bartender

“You wrecked Hitler’s car! What did he ever do to you?”

-Nelson Muntz, from The Simpsons

“I am not Colonel Klink! I have merely assumed his form!”

-Homer’s Guardian Angel, trying to convince Homer that he’s really not Colonel Klink.

“Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!”

-Troy McClure

“Calvin Trillin?”

-Elmo

“Do you know what you’re looking for? The little one? I also have an older model with a lot of character. I think the carpet matches the drapes, I haven’t checked in a while. Both of them? Well I guess that makes sense if you’re planning to flip one.”

-Phil Dunphy from “Modern Family”, totally oblivious to what his caller is really asking about.

“Hey Quagmire, isn’t there an ‘o’ in ‘country?’”

-Brian from “Family Guy”, looking at Quagmire’s sign.

“If you come upstairs, you’re gonna get laid.”

-Holly from “The Wedding Singer”